Shepherd After His Heart

Life; it trips me up sometimes. I find myself serving my own selfish wants, needs and desires and fail to serve my precious Jesus. How often am I afflicted with this dry spiritual condition? Shamefully I say, more times than I wish to count. Are you sometimes overcome with life and suffer from failings and shame too?

You and I are not alone. Look at what the Lord told Jeremiah to speak to the people of Israel.

“Therefore, go and give this message to Israel, This is what the Lord says: O Israel, my faithless people, come home to me again, for I am merciful. I will not be angry with you forever. Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you rebelled against the Lord your God and committed adultery against him by worshiping idols under every green tree. Confess that you refused to listen to my voice. I, the Lord, have spoken!” ~ Jeremiah 3:12 - 13 (NLT)

During these dry periods, I find that I am worshiping the idol of self-interest, putting my desires before the desire to serve the Lord. When spiritual weakness strikes me, and I give in to self-interest, the last thought on my mind is to acknowledge my guilt before the Lord. It should be my first response. Better yet, my goal should always be to guard my heart and mind from living a self-centered life in the first place. Knowing that, at least while trapped in this human form, I will be unable to prevent myself from occasionally falling victim to the sin and idolatry of self-centeredness is no excuse for not trying to remain God focused, Christ driven, and Holy Spirit filled.

When I do fall, and I know that I will fall, I must acknowledge my guilt. The sooner the better! Keeping my focus on myself will only lead me to experience more suffering and pain. When I am able to step away from myself and agree with God, confessing that my behavior was wrong, the grip of sin immediately must depart. God will not burn in anger against me. He loves me, and He will rejoice that I have confessed my guilt.

Thankfully, God does not leave me to my own interpretation of what sin is. He defines sin for me clearly in His word. For me to be faithful to God’s direction for my life, I must be able to hear Him speaking to me. The Lord does his talking through His word, by speaking to us during prayer and through taking time to just be quiet in His presence. This means I must read the Bible. I must make time to speak to the Lord in prayer, and I must take the time to be quiet listen for Him to speak to me.

Jeremiah 3: 12-13, speaks about a homecoming, a return from separation from God. Sin in my life is what causes me to become alienated from God. God doesn’t move away from me; rather I move away from Him. The longer I fail to confess my sin and restore my relationship with the Lord, the more my soul becomes dry and thirsty.

Just recently I sinfully, and shamefully, allowed myself to experience a dry season in my walk with the Lord. On the outside I looked as one who had it all together. Things in my life had been running pretty smoothly. I had been blessed with finalizing the adoption of my son. My job was going well. My marriage was on a firm foundation. Yes, on the outside things looked grand.

Oh, but on the inside. On the inside I had allowed one disappointment, which led to anger, to begin to corrode my connection to God. No, God didn’t move away from me, God was still by my side. He was not pleased with my actions; yet His love was and continues to be never failing.

Out of stubborn pride and a selfish view of my circumstances, I allowed myself to feel justified in my anger. I did not take my disappointment and hurt to God. Nor, did I speak with the human source of my hurt to convey my feelings and work things out. Rather, I squished my emotions down deep inside and let them begin to drain the joy from my life. It didn’t take long for this unconfessed sin, and idolatry of self, to grow into even more anger. I began to notice that I was angry a lot! I was snapping at my husband. I was snapping at my son. I was snapping at my co-workers. I was even angry with myself. I was angry about everything and in every situation!

Then, during my third week of wrestling with my anger I also encountered some negative behavioral issues with my son and my emotional dam broke. My hardened heart and my carrying capacity for dealing with my sin on my own terms reached overload.

Needless to say my son suffered as an outlet for my explosion, and I was overcome by a tsunami of shame and guilt. I cried out to God; “Father I can’t do this anymore. I am angry, and I don’t want to be! I don’t want those I love to suffer because of my lack of obedience. Lord, forgive me and guide me back to the place where your Spirit abides within me. Help me to once again hear your voice and give me the strength to obey Your direction.”

I believe now that the behavior issues that my son was displaying was in fact a direct result of my mannerisms, my angry behavior, my lack of impulse control and my inability to model appropriate behavior to life stressors for him. How humbling is that?

I am so grateful that my Jesus is a loving savior. I am thankful that He did not leave me in my place of darkness and sin. I am humbled by the depth of His love; in that even while I was living in sin His love for me was constant. I also stand in awe at His perfect sense of timing. You see, the day that my emotional dam broke was a Sunday and I was to begin teaching the first in a series of bible study lessons at church that very evening. Had I not confessed my sin and been humbled to a point of repentance, I would have been totally ineffective at presenting God’s word to the women of that class. However, because I was able to confess and repent, in fact agreeing with God that I am a broken vessel, I was able to remove myself from the equation and ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and to speak through me during class. I was even able to share this story; to share my human weakness.

So often when I sin, and then finally come to my senses and confess and repent, God allows me to share with others what He taught me through my ordeal. For me, that is a wonderful and most treasured gift from God. Jeremiah 3:15 speaks of shepherds who will lead with God's heart. It is my desire to be this type of leader, shepherding with "knowledge and understanding” that only comes from seeking God's will every day.

I have come to treasure the words of II Corinthians 4:17; “our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (NKJV) I know that I will have desert moments in my life, and seasons of dryness in my heart. I know that I will experience affliction, either self inflicted or world inflicted. But, Praise His Holy Name, it is my desire to allow Him to work through that affliction to shine for Him and give him eternal glory.


Related Study Verses:

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26 (MSG) [emphasis mine]

“Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.” James 4: 19 – 21 (MSG) [emphasis mine]

Mom's Group Reforming for Fall

Highland Church of Christ Mom’s Group is reforming for fall session. The first meeting will be held at the Red Apple Restaurant on Thursday, September 20th at 9:15 a.m. This first meeting will start a little later than normal, in order to allow all of the Mom’s to drop their children off at the church before heading to the restaurant.

As always, please feel free to invite a friend! Mom’s group is open to all Mothers within our community. During our first meeting the group will decide which book or study we will be using for the year.

Mom’s Group Fall Schedule
September 20th 9:15 – 11:15 (Kickoff meeting at the Red Apple)
October 4th 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC
October 18th 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC
November 1st 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC
November 15th 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC
November 29th 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC
December 13th 9:00 – 11:00 at HCC

· Child care will be provided at the church for each meeting!
· If you have any questions or concerns, contact Amy at: alprice2@yahoo.com, or call the church office: 544-3517.