Looking Back ~ Never Enough of God In My Life

Bringing in a new year has caused me to pause and reflect on the year of 2007. Many exciting events have taken place in 2007 that have changed my life. Not the least of these changing events was the adoption of my son on August 17th, 2007.

Anytime a child is brought into a family it is inevitable that life will change. This is especially true when a child is adopted at the age of 34 months, (2 years and 10 months, for those of you who, like me, are a little math challenged.) by a woman who was very comfortable with her very quiet, orderly, organized, neat, and often very selfish lifestyle.

Needless to say, my home is no longer quiet. Nor, is it orderly, organized, and neat. More often than not one would be likely to find my home in a state of cluttered, messy, chaos. However, I am happy to admit, the adoption of this miracle child has forced me to become less selfish and more dependent upon the Lord. I wish that I could say that giving up some of my selfish desires has come easily. However, the truth of the matter is that I am a fighter, and tend to give up my selfish desires only when I am forced to do so, and then only while kicking and screaming.

Another of the changes that this wonderful addition to my life has brought about is, I have a renewed desire to grow closer to my precious Savior; Jesus Christ. This desire was cultivated not only by my son’s adoption, and the realization that I want to give my very best to my efforts to raise him in a home where God is placed first above all else, but also by the faith and witness of one very special woman; Lysa TerKeurst.

For those of you who may not know Lysa, she is the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, co-host of the ministries national radio program and she is the award winning author of several books, including her latest release, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, as well as What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, Leading Women to the Heart of God, and many other wonderful titles. She is the featured writer for the monthly magazine, P31 Woman and has had her work published in other publications such as Focus on the Family magazine and Crown Financial Ministries’ Money Matters.

My first encounter with Lysa was through reading some of her online devotions, posted at http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/. The second encounter I experienced with Lysa was at a women’s retreat in Sullivan Indiana during the early summer of last year. Lysa was to be the keynote speaker and I was so excited about attending the conference. At this time I was knee deep in the roller-coaster ride of emotions surrounding my son being in our home in foster care, and it was uncertain when if ever we would be blessed to adopt him. I had high hopes that I would gain a fresh perspective on life at this conference, and Lysa did not disappoint me, nor were my expectations of a life-changing experience left wanting.

Lysa’s Biblical insights were life changing, she was inspiring, fresh funny and clearly on fire for the Lord; and she mixed every topic that she shared with personal stories that were real and moved my heart. Also at this event, she gave a challenge to all women who were either women’s ministry leaders, writers, speakers, or who hoped to one day be a part of leading women to God through one of these avenues; to attend “She Speaks,” an annual conference hosted by Proverbs 31 ministries. When she extended the offer to join her at “She Speaks,” in June I knew that I had to attend.

So, in June of 2007, I packed my bags and headed off to Charlotte, North Carolina to attend a conference that for me has started the reawakening of my soul, and my absolute desire to serve my King with every fiber of my being.

Little did I know the changes in my heart and life that were in store for me, during and after this conference. Not only did this conference revolutionize the way I view my relationship with God, but it also gave me the opportunity to meet many other women, from all over the country, which also have a deep desire to serve the Lord. One of those women was Renee Swope, who just happens to also be a member of the Proverbs 31 ministry team and will be coming to Highland to present a wonderful series called “Searching for God’s Treasure in Everyday Life,” on March 28th and 29th. This event will challenge you to reach for God’s treasure by embracing His love and His grace in a whole new way.

As I look back on the events of last year, I can’t help but look forward to the new-year. I realize that for all of my spiritual growth and my resolve to change, I am still just a fallen sinner and I will continue to struggle to grow my relationship with Christ. I have realized that many times during this past year I have been like Lysa TerKeurst admitted in her blog posting of Tuesday January 1st entitled, “The Song of My Rag Tag Soul.” Lysa said: “I have been obedient but only to a certain point. I have been good but I am not holy. I have faith but still struggle with the desire to be put in a position to really have to practice it.” (For the entire article by Lysa go to: http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/01/song-of-my-rag-tag-soul.html)

I can so relate to what Lysa said. Maybe you can too. I know that my desire to grow a greater relationship with my savior is strong, but I find myself saying; “Lord, no matter how much I grow in you it will never be enough for me! I want to give you everything, yet I struggle with my human frailties. My greatest prayer is to serve you with great abandon. To allow you to be so real in my life that I love nothing more than taking delight in our bond. I desire to say yes to your every request, and to make you known throughout the world! I desire to have nothing delight me more than singing your praise through the way I live my life.” So, although I have never been one to make new-year’s resolutions, this year I am making some. Here they are.

1) I resolve to continue to listen for God to speak to me and,
2) I resolve to do my very best to follow His direction.
3) I resolve to continue to strive to lay down my selfish desires and cherish every gift God sends my way, as they have been many.
4) I resolve to extend grace, grace, grace, to those, also imperfect, souls with whom I find myself doing life with.
5) And most of all; I resolve to not beat myself up when I am less than perfect and find that at the end of 2008 I must make these same resolutions all over again. Because, let’s be honest folks; there is not ever going to be a day when I will be perfect at maintaining these resolutions, at least this side of glory.

PS – If you are on a spiritual journey of your own and wish to grow closer to the Lord in 2008, I encourage you to make plans now to attend the women’s mini-retreat with Renee Swope on March 28th and 29th. (Go to http://hccrobinson.com/ for more information or look for more information coming soon in the church bulletin.) Come hungry and seeking. I know you won’t leave disappointed!